There are very few mornings that I wake up and dread it. Today, was one of those days.
Thinking of my taxes, my very delicate year working in Toronto, the insanity that I’ve acquired from my daughter’s bullying, my lack of employment and my newly diagnosed sleep apnea, has found me overwhelmed on what to do.
I have suffered with depression the better part of my life. There was a time, when my children were very young, that the dark knight of the soul would control my existence. However, over time New Age writers have allowed me the luxury of calming down and finding peace.
How have I dealt with depression day in and day out? The first five minutes upon becoming fully awake, I try my best to instill affirmations for my day. I run through the day stating “I Can Do It” because I know I can. It’s all about belief that there will be another good day despite the darkness.
It’s been three years since this ultimate darkness took over my morning. However, along with the depression, come a bright light of realization. I realize this morning that the clock is ticking and I must take it up a notch. Lose weight vs. weight loss surgery. Get a job or try to focus on my business. Hire an accountant or do it myself. Get through the dark night of my daughter’s soul and I have no other alternative. There are some things we have control over and other’s, well, our hand’s are tied.
Change is difficult because we need to change ourselves; the hardest component in our life to allow change gracefully.
I know I will get through this dark knight yet again. I hope that this note will inspire other people to think about their dark knight and their struggles through life.
We all get through the hard times. We will all have dark days, along with good days. It’s our spirit and will to live that makes the light just a little brighter.
