I had the “Sex/Dating” talk when I was 14. I had just started dating this guy and my mom felt like it was time to give me the sex talk. I did NOT want to have the talk with my mom since the “becoming a lady” talk was horrifying enough. It was awkward and well I just finished sex education in the 8th grade and DID not want to hear what she had to say.
The sad truth about the sex talk is that WE teenagers need to talk about it with our parents. All teenagers (13-14) should know about the risk they are making if they start having sex early in life. It’s extremely rare to find someone in middle/high school where you will be together for ever. Having sex with them will only make you regret being with that person even more. It may seem like a great idea at the time since most teenagers think they’re in love with the first guy they meet, but it isn’t.
I remember my 8th grade teacher telling us kids that 35% of teenagers will lose their virginity in the 9th grade and by the end of high school only 10% will still be virgins. I’m not sure where he got those statistics but I believe they are accurate.
Unfortunately, I believe that alcohol has a large toll on why only 10% of teenagers leave high school virgins. I know many people who have made that mistake of hooking up with some random guy at a party .
Parents, YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS about sex and how losing their virginity IS A BIG DEAL. I hate when people talk about sex like it’s not a big deal! Sex should be with someone you love or have strong feelings for, not with some stranger!!
Sex Talk Checklist
Parents, this is what you must talk to your teens about in regards to sex:
- The risks of STD/STI
- Every time you sleep with someone you’re sleeping with all the people they’ve slept with (ew)
- People will say whatever you want to hear to get you to sleep with them (i.e I love you, We will be together forever)
- Sex won’t make them stay with you
- Sex won’t make you cool
- Always use protection and to make sure they know their partner is clean before having ANY kind of sex.
- Sexting and assumptions
- Tell them you are there for them no matter what.
- Explain birth control options
Parents just remember your kids are young and assume that there is always a solution to EVERY problem. If your kid comes up to you saying they’ve had sex and want to talk about it, it may make you really angry and upset but you have to realize it would of happen eventually. Just be happy your kid feels open enough to reach out to you.
First Boyfriend/Girlfriend Talk
Before I go into any kind of checklist I want to tell parents it’s OKAY to tell your kid they are to young to date and you would like them to have any kind of relationship until they are 16-18. I encourage parents to share past sexual & non-sexual relations that you’ve had in the past. It may be embarrassing for you to share but you don’t want your kids to make the same mistakes you did!
We make mistakes for a reason right? So why not have our kids learn from your mistakes!
- Share your past dating experiences with your kid
- Talk about sex and how losing your virginity should be very important to them
- You are there for them no matter what
I encourage parents to get awkward with this subject! Your kid must know all of this stuff so they don’t make mistakes!!