Some stories take time to tell. Not because they’re shameful, but because they hold the kind of lessons that change you forever.
In my newest episode of Life A Blog, “When You Finally Let Them,” I open up about one of the most painful chapters of my life. It’s a story about betrayal, addiction, intuition, and learning that sometimes love isn’t enough to save someone who refuses to save themselves.
This episode is for anyone who’s ever stayed too long, ignored the warning signs, or tried to fix someone who kept breaking your heart.
Trust Your Gut — It Always Knows
I have the words Trust Your Gut tattooed on my arm, and yet for a long time, I didn’t listen to it.
From the beginning, something inside me knew the truth. My gut was screaming at me to run. But I stayed, hoping that love could rewrite patterns that had already been written a hundred times before.
When betrayal trauma hits, your body often knows the truth long before your heart is ready to accept it. In the podcast, I talk about the anger that came later — not just at him, but at myself — for knowing better and still choosing hope over reality.
The Cycle of Returning to What Hurts You
In the episode, I talk about how easy it is to get pulled back into toxic relationships. Psychologists call this trauma bonding — when love and pain get tangled together through cycles of abuse, reward, and regret.
Research has shown that these bonds can create powerful emotional pulls that make people return to unsafe relationships, even when they know it’s not right. It’s not weakness; it’s the brain confusing chaos for connection.
I share this because I’ve been there. I went back again and again, thinking I could help him heal, thinking if I just loved him harder, things would finally change. But what I learned is that you can’t love someone into recovery. You can care deeply for someone and still need to let them go.
Behaviour Speaks Louder Than Words
There’s one line in this episode that sums it all up for me: behavioural evidence over time.
That’s where the truth lives. Not in what people say or promise, but in what they do again and again. Patterns don’t lie. When you start trusting actions instead of excuses, you start to see everything more clearly.
It’s painful to admit, but that’s where freedom begins. When you stop romanticizing potential and start believing behaviour, you take your power back.
Mel Robbins and the “Let Them” Theory
Later in the episode, I talk about a perspective that changed my life — Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory.
It’s simple but powerful. If someone wants to ignore you, let them. If they want to go back to their ex, let them. If they want to lie, run, or choose chaos, let them.
You don’t have to chase closure or beg for honesty. You just have to let people show you who they are and then believe them.
When you stop trying to control other people’s choices, you finally start focusing on your own peace. That’s when the healing really starts — when you let them and then let yourself.
Letting Go and Moving Forward
Betrayal didn’t break me. It cracked me open.
It taught me boundaries. It taught me stillness. It taught me that healing isn’t about pretending you’re fine — it’s about feeling everything and still choosing peace anyway.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in a relationship that was breaking you, or if you’re struggling to rebuild your sense of trust, this episode is for you.
It’s not just my story. It’s a mirror for anyone who’s ever confused love with pain, or chaos with connection.
Listen to “When You Finally Let Them” on Life A Blog wherever you stream podcasts.
And when you do, take a deep breath and remind yourself:
You are not the sum of someone else’s choices.
You are the story that comes after.
