Over the past month, I’ve embraced the opportunity to meet some of the most wonderful digital women.  Many of them are well-known while others are actively trying to get ahead.  I salute all of them as it’s not a contest for me.

During my travels, I heard much of the same questions and comments:

– How do some bloggers become so popular when they really have nothing to give?

– Why did these bloggers get selected as speakers or invited to parties while I work my a** off to get somewhere with my blog?  There’s one speaker who, if you’re not in the clique, bully’s and ridicules what other’s have to say. (I cannot substantiate this claim made by 3 different people, because I have never followed her.)

– Why is it that I’m not getting noticed?

– The best one so far was how come a certain blogger achieves popularity but can get away with the ridiculous stunt of drunkenly stealing a wheelchair, takes a joyride, and posts it on their blog? (I don’t know the full story and I’m not sure that I want to.)

Digital Women Rock

Well I think there’s a certain amount of social media truth in the fact that those who are successful, travel in groups or cliques.  However, I also think that they work their tails off to maintain their status.

I also believe that if they were no longer part of the clique and/or stopped working their tail off, their status would dramatically drop. Suffice to say, it’s who you know and how hard you work for it.  No different from any other job in real life.

I blog and tweet for free.  My opinions are my own and it has no bearing on what I do for a living or my success as a business woman.   I would like to venture into the “getting paid” world of blogging, but I’m also nervous that it may stifle my right to free speech.

I do not condone anyone, popular or unpopular, for ignorant remarks, gestures, or actions (like the little I know about the wheelchair incident) that they personally choose to expose to the social community.  I feel that even though some bloggers are popular within one clique, there are twice the amount of people who are jealous of their success but chooses to kiss their butt to fit in, and triple who disrespect them for their pompous notoriety.  Total high school behavior.

If a blogger keeps it real and remains true to their mission of providing valuable information to the public in a non-narcissistic manner, they will be the victor in the end.  Remember, social media is still in its infancy.  Ignorance is rarely tolerated when it becomes “business”.

Photo from: http://www.gapingvoid.com

So as I sit here and recall the distress of the wonderful women I have met, I must confess that no one REALLY talks to me aside from occasional banter.  I get unfollowed and unliked but I’m ok with it.  After all, even networking is a business.  Like everyone else on social media, I’ve had my ups and downs.

However, I also feel that I’ve been successful in my own right.

Sure I was hurt that I wasn’t chosen by CBC Community as blogger for TIFF.  I work that event every year, from most angles, and my feet hate me.  I have read every blog posted from those selected and applaud their efforts.  I’m not a sore loser.

Was I hurt that I wasn’t chosen to speak for the 140 Conference?  Not really, because I see social media as a way to generate the opportunities that I want.  However, in light of the event, social media has changed my life, so I did apply to speak and share my story.  Do I regret not buying a ticket?  Absolutely, as it’s a great networking opportunity.

Am I ridiculously excited to be chosen to attend ShesConnected?  Absolutely!  I can’t wait no matter how many “popular” bloggers dissed the selection process.  I hold my head high and rejoice that I have been given the opportunity to learn and network.

So to all of those digital women who want to succeed and are working their butts off to be a success in social media, keep it real.

  • Write what you know.
     I write about Canadian Events, Family, Social Media and Bullying
  • Cater to the brands you love. 
    I love Blackberry and Diet Coke 
  • Stay true to your thoughts and don’t be thwarted by domineering labels
    I love Diet Coke more than life, but was I happy to find out that I wasn’t going to see George Clooney at TIFF because of their error?  No, I expressed my feelings.
  • With every negative experience, there’s a positive, always tell both sides of the story.
    Diet Coke gave me another opportunity, albeit not as great, but there’s only so much that they can do.  

Finally, always remember that there are many cliques in Social Media, but there are also millions of other people to share your words with.  Don’t limit yourself to an age group, a location, a brand, or even a business group.

No matter how big or how small you may be, if you share your words with me, you will always have me as a cheerleader because of your courage to have a voice.

It’s never a popularity contest in my eyes.

Written by Trina Stewart

Trina Stewart is the editor-in-chief at Life's a Blog. Blogging and Social Media is her passion by night, while project management and business development fills her day.

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