I have cluster headaches. They are daily, they come go as my mind wanders, and they completely screw me up mentally. Today, I have a huge headache and I’m walking around like a zombie. Again, the mountain of disappointment continues to grow. I’m such a fool for believing there is an ounce of goodness in the person I was married to.
So to begin, it is well known that the marital separation of property was not divided equally. He has the big screen television, the surround sound, the Denon receiver, turntable, his toolbox that’s the size of a limo, a new king size bed and tons of tools. On top of that, he took a good share of the kitchen items. I will also throw in my bike as his property because he claims he “tossed” it.
I am using my parent’s queen bed. I took my camera and my laptop. I received the Breville Barista and a set of pots. No daily dishes, no eating utensils, and an equal division of the large utensils. Why am I getting into this you ask?
Knowing he was moving soon, I sent the above email to him on the 22nd of September. As you can see, what I was requesting wasn’t a huge ask.
This weekend I found out that he “tossed” a bunch of stuff. I was like WTF? I recognize that legally, there isn’t any obligation on his end to give more to me. On a moral standpoint, I asked for a few things and he didn’t have the respect to even provide that or maybe say “Hey Trina, throwing out 30 years of our life together. Is there anything you want?”
So what do I do when I’m fighting my head and heart? I chat with friends. I mean maybe it’s just me that thinks there’s a moral code when you divide personal property between a broken couple.
“He’s obviously had this mean side but we just never saw it. Really rude.”
“He’s so mean. Don’t trust him further.”
“Get this thing done and over with. He’s going to do something else to bring you down because he doesn’t care. Get it into court immediately.”
There Are Good People Out There
I know of this couple from the past. She cheated. They divided everything up 50/50. Once the guy met another girl and decided to move in with her, he packed up his stuff at his place and gave his ex everything. Why did he do that? Because it was shared stuff over many years and perhaps, she’d be the only one who would appreciate some or all of these things. I think that’s a stand up human being.
I still struggle to determine if what he did was right or wrong. We live in a “Me” society, and maybe it’s OK if he was clearing out to declutter with complete disregard for me.
I truly believe he was so morally ignorant in trashing everything, seeing that he got the lion’s share of everything, including a job, the truck, the new life. Give me a break. The meanness, on his part, should have stopped with drug abuse and the other women during the marriage?
A Lot of Growing Up To Do
In the email above, I said I had a box made for him. His baptism certificate, old photos of him as a kid, some small momentos, and a few tools etc. I think I’m just going to garbage it and save myself the postage. Someone with zero moral code has no sentimentality anyway.
I’ve got a lot of growing up to do when it comes to people. It appears my heart stopped at an age where I care about everything and expect the best from everyone. It’s very mentally draining knowing that this guy can continually hurt me, when our women’s group mantra is “They can’t hurt us anymore.” Bullshit. I call bullshit.
Am I wrong in feeling this way? Please respond in the comments below.