Exactly, what does denial of your child’s bullying serve in the greater picture of life? What is it that prevents parent’s from looking at the bigger picture of compassion and love and enforcing it in their child? Is it love to deny the actions of your child’s bullying or is it mismanagement as a parent?
We all know someone who’s been bullied or shunned. We all know someone who has bullied for all of the wrong reasons. As parents, it is my considered opinion that masking your child’s bullying is a shame. I recently experienced an incident where a cyber bully, via text, has caused a huge amount of damage to another child. After the bullied parent addressed the other parent intimately (and arriving to an amicable outcome), the table’s suddenly turned to blaming the bullied child for their misfortunes. Unfortunately, in the plight of finding salvation for their child’s action, they selfishly took it to other parent’s (whose children “hung out” with the bullied child). Ultimately, they made it a universal issue to save face.
There’s always one side, the other side and the truth. The truth will always set us free.
I know for a fact that the bullied parent’s have experienced sleepless nights, sorrow and anguish based on the situation at hand. I know that the child feels reluctance to return to school and fear that no one will like them again because their friends and friend’s parents support the bully’s actions and words.
Supporting bullying in any fashion is wrong. Did that parent show the uninvolved parent’s (she solicited for support) the nasty text messages sent by her child to the bullied child, who was baking cookies that day? Did that parent elaborate on the situation at hand or was it the cause of the suspension that drove the parent to believe her child was wrong done?
I cannot express just how quick children are to cyber bully and judge another (friend or foe). We do not teach our children the golden rule about judging other’s before we judge ourselves. Perhaps though, we, as parents, do not realize it as well. Most of the time, we approach our children’s situation with comments like “You’re too good for them.”, “They are just jealous”….when in actual fact, we don’t step back and realize that we are applauding them for their actions and encouraging strong retaliation.
I feel sorry for the parent’s who bullied this particular child. I feel pity that they accept no wrong doing in this situation. Most part, I feel sorry for the child who’s been bullied, because there was one parent, who recruited other parent’s in being involved, and exterminated their current relationships. All I can say if that I’m in that position, I’d have the guts to listen to both sides before passing any judgement.
It is my belief that it’s the parents, not the children, who thwart the school’s efforts in stopping bullying because they will not admit it themselves. They will always turn to the excuse of the insecurities of the bullied, rather than the fault of their own children.
After this incident, I am ready to stand up to bullying and I am ready to stand up for the rights of humanity. No person is above bullying. No parent is above justifying their child’s actions through bullying. I hope that other parent’s will stand with me as well.
It is time to END bullying in Canada and it starts with the parents, not the child.