For many years, I have been blind to a few comment that has irked me over the years, but I never truly realized that it may or may not be a universal concept in the “normal” population.
When this whole bullying incident took place this year, I made the conscious decision to confront the bully’s mom. It was such a pleasant conversation, I disclosed to her that my daughter has achieved great things despite having learning disabilities and ADHD. Her response after I disclosed this to her was “Oh my, had the kids known that she had ADHD perhaps they would have been kinder to her.”
I recall a time when I hired a babysitter to walk my kids to and from school. That was all I required. I was very stern in the fact that my kids needed to be walked to school each and every day. I did not mention the fact that my daughter had ADHD because it was for only an hour and the time spent would be walking them to school. After a month, the school called me and informed me that the children were walking to school alone and arriving before supervised hours. This meant that they were sent to school minutes after I dropped them off.
I confronted her and also wrote a letter to her, the school and children’s aid. In this letter, I mentioned that my daughter had ADHD and that my son was directionally challenged (still is today at a 90 percent average). I was shocked to receive her response via email that stated “Had I known your daughter was ADHD, I wouldn’t have taken her in the first place.” She gave no mention of my child who was “directionally challenged” though.
Years have gone by, but these two incident’s collided like a storm in the night. I ask myself, how is a child with ADHD different, and why do they need preferential glass doll treatment? My daughter obey’s rules like the undiagnosed child. My daughter studies and works just as hard as the undiagnosed child. My daughter is entitled to having normal friends and normal situations as the undiagnosed child. She doesn’t require any special treatment? If anything, her spirit should be encouraged more so than the undiagnosed child.
This is my point of view about ADHD.
ADHD is the boy who used to turn his eyes inside out in school back in the 80’s. ADHD is the guy next to you, shaking his leg constantly in a board meeting. ADHD is the highly spirited child with ridiculous comments and ideas. ADHD is a child with an exuberant amount of compassion and love because they know they are different. ADHD is not a debilitating disability, but a gift from God. ADHD is what inspired many of the inventors of the past. ADHD is what makes Tom Cruise jump on couches and say ridiculous things that the “norm” criticize on the Today Show and in newspapers. ADHD is what makes most people, the richest people in the world.
It’s those “ridiculous” people that come out with “ridiculous” comments that makes this world what it is. They are smart. They are courageous. They tend to influence the “norm” to their way of thinking when producing a product or service. Look at a salesman and tell me that he doesn’t possess signs of ADHD. They can sell and sell well. Give them paper work and they are a mess!
If they can get through childhood unscathed, they will be leaders!
The worst side of having ADHD is the normal people assuming that this is a disease where extra care must be taken on the individual. Parent’s of children with ADHD, who are constantly condemning the words that come of their child’s mouths which eventually causes the child to lose their spirit and self-esteem. Doctor’s and teachers who are literally shoving pills down their throat to be normal.
If I knew then, what I knew now. I wouldn’t have accepted the pills. My daughter’s spirit is gone and I’m trying each and everyday to inspire her to find it. She could be the next Ellen Degeneres if she only believed that she didn’t have to be the norm.
I have tried these pills and I realize that I too am ADHD. I hate these pills. Despite the fact that I can focus more, my ideas are thwarted, my creativity listless. I can’t explain what these pills do to you during the day aside from getting work done, but after the effects have worn off, I experienced excruciating headaches that are abnormal. A tightening of the soul is how I describe it best. Reality is unbearable and all you want to do is nothing or sleep. In light of this description, I must remind you that I took these pills for a month and I’m a drugaphobic.
My daughter is on these pills. I’ve asked and been denied Strattera (a more natural substance) because it isn’t highly used in Canada. She insists on taking them, after all of these years, because it “prevents her from saying things that she doesn’t want to say. She loses friends and people look at her weird otherwise.” Well, perhaps I have another Tom Cruise jumping on the couch. Who am I to argue her beliefs and fears? I am her mother, but I do not want to throw her in the lion’s den.
However, I’d rather her realize who she is, and be proud of it, rather than sometime down the road say “Well if I would have known your child was ADHD, I wouldn’t have babysat her.”
Well I have two children. One with ADHD and the other who is living the “norm”. I realize that my son will comply with routine, regiment, and what’s expected of him in humanity. He will go far, but he will live by the book. My daughter however, if she can get past this stigma, she will be out of this world fantastic. She will be criticized for her creativity and beliefs (aren’t all creative geniuses?), but she will, at the end of the day, live her best life. Free, unsolicited, and caring.
The fight to be ourselves, is much easier than complying to something we are not. Tell that to a child though!