Ah, the death of a loved one is hard.  It’s harder when the sun goes down and the still of the night surfaces.  One wonders what could have been.  One regrets the hardships and the harsh words.  One rejoices for the time spent together.  One realizes that life has to go on.

For two years, I’ve used the power of positive thinking.  Right now, I think it’s a pack of bullshit in order to sell books.  However, I have decided to push through all of the negative that’s been happening in 2011 and continue to hope for the best!    The hurdles in life are things that we are all meant to face no matter if we’re thinking positive or not.  We all have demons and we all have angels looking over our shoulder.

Over the past week, my family has come together and supported each other.  You see, I have teenagers and they are not the most friendliest people, especially to their parents.  It’s been a bitter-sweet experience.

I have also come to realize that, after reading all of the wonderful Facebook messages, that I have been on the computer too much.  I should be spending real-time with those who care rather than improving something, that at the end of the day, really doesn’t matter much.

I always dreamed that I would blog for Toronto Life, CBC News, or some other conglomerate during my favorite time of year; The Toronto International Film Festival.  However, after this ordeal, I’ve come to realize that I have just as much fun blogging about it on Life’s a Blog because it gives me time to celebrate the event with my daughter.  It also give me proprietary rights on what I want to write about.

My shitty luck started when a Tweep and I agreed to share a room at the ShesConnected Conference, and they backed out stating that they couldn’t afford it.  However, unbeknownst to me, they just simply didn’t want me.  I was hurt, but you know what, this person doesn’t know me more than a load of hay.  So I’m not bitter, I just wish that person would have told the truth.  Just like my dog with her unconditional love, I live my life with the unconditional truth.

Then, there was that incident that some pretty skinny bitch called me “Nasty”. Enough said about that!  Nasty comes from within, and there isn’t one iota of nasty in me as I care about everyone.

After that, we experienced a mass of money related hurdles. Furnace, mattresses, car, and a decrease in hours at work.  To top it off, it’s our shitty luck that we had a dog that was only going to be around for four of the most wonderful years of my life.  My heart is tearing out of me that I cannot smell her wonderful scent tonight as she snuggles on my lap as I blog.

The last thing that was pretty crappy was getting refused by CBC Community and the Western Fair as a blogger for both events.  I realize that my blog takes a different focus depending on what happens in my life.  I’m very sorry that with my dog on death’s door step, I could not attend WHAMBAM this year, but it is what it is.  I still believe, that despite this hurdle, I can write a damn good blog about any Canadian Event I attend!  That’s all that matters.

Nope, I’m no longer bitter at anyone or anything.  (Really I wasn’t in the first place, more hurt than anything else). I’m wiser.  Wiser to the ways of the world.  Wiser that the power of positive thinking brings a light within my heart each day, however, positive thinking can’t stop bad things from happening in your life.  You have to roll with those punches.

I’m not going to tolerate anymore nastiness, negativity, or rejection from others, which includes unfollowing unknowns online that may be popular but unresponsive.  Joke’s on me if I send messages continually and receive no response.   As well, I’m not going to be a spoiled sport, nor am I going to moan and groan about it.  I’m going to grin, nod and move on.

I simply know that shit happens!  The most important people in your life are those who tuck themselves into bed thinking of you, sending you messages of love and sympathies, and also cheering your accomplishments.

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