God, I’ve been going through excruciating headaches and mood swings.  I think it’s the Champix pills.   Thank God no one responds to my emails for support and assistance because if they did, I don’t think I could review it very well.  Quitting smoking SUCKS!

So Friday night, I flew in a fit over the most ridiculous family issues imaginable.  I completely insulted and upset my daughter and my son wasn’t far behind.  I went downstairs to the garage as my husband arrived home.  I looked at him and said (no screamed) “I can’t do this fucking thing!! Give me a puff now!”

So after taking that puff, I felt incredibly guilty and it did absolutely NOTHING to relieve my angst.  My husband then stated that he had to get me out of the house before I went crazy.  We went to the Bay where we bought some much needed attire and then out for supper.

After supper he lit a cigarette.  He stood outside to finished and I looked at him and said “That’s ok, get in…I don’t even want one now.”  I truly didn’t want one.

Yesterday, I did not take the Champix in fear that it’s the pills causing my emotional outbursts.  I did some reading and apparantly their was a grandfather who was over the top happy on Champix for weeks.  As the weeks passed, his emotional state changed to very dark and depressed wih suicidal thoughts.   I’m somewhat scared of this happening to me because for the first few days, I was over the top happy.

Realistically, I am happy to quit smoking but if the pills that I need causes me to have suicidal thoughts…I’m no better off then when I started.  It’s time to find a new course of action and a new coping mechanism. 

Still going strong and not giving up yet!

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