I honestly can’t wait until life gets back to normal. Who knows if it will be 5 months or 5 years though. COVID has really taken the World by storm. Socializing is virtually non-existent. Being single at this time can be pretty darn lonely. Tea for one ain’t always fun.
Binge watching has been high on the list of things to do. I spend a lot of my time on the floor taking photos and figuring out how the hell to be creative.
I keep to my group of ten. Some nights are great while others are pathetically lonely. I suppose, if I wanted to, I could take my chances, hop on Tinder and have random dates. It’s just not my thing, especially with COVID.
I remember days I used to go to Chapters for the night and just read books. Today, life seems like an in and out job. Go out, get your things, and go home. Home to be all alone again to read, watch TV, work on my courses or overthink.
Love the Ones You’re With
You know, there is something to be said about being in a relationship or married. At least you have that one other person to be by your side. If you’re committed to someone, they would be in your group of ten. You would see them more. Company is good. Being married though. I guess for some it’s now a challenge, but personally I think I’d love the feeling of togetherness in this crazy World we’re living in. Someone to chat with, eat with, cook for, and to live for. I think with COVID we’ve learned to appreciate those around us even more. We thrive to socialize so we gravitate closer to those who we can truly love and bare to be around.
That said, while I sit here and think about it, I shake my head in disbelief. It’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t want you as much as you want them. Someone who wouldn’t dare make an effort. I have seen so much of this over the past two years and it’s a sad existence to be living.
I may have nights of crazy feelings and overthinking, but as I think these thoughts I realize that I want what I want and I won’t compromise. I won’t compromise ever again on what I need in a partner. I won’t compromise on what I need to be loved and to give love.
I know this is a completely random post. It’s just me thinking aloud really. COVID sucks. Single sucks sometimes….and other times it’s pretty amazing.
Nothing sucks more though than realizing I’m going to be 48 tomorrow, and I feel like I’m a sixteen year old girl (I said that to my financial advisor today), who has no clue how to date or what to expect from a partner. What I do really well is being alone. I find so many things to do to occupy my time and make me smile. Sigh….all the while my whole life’s efforts resulted being alone. I’d like to add a sidebar of smutty things to say, but I won’t.
I think I’ll just sleep tomorrow……all day where I can hope that 50 and fabulous means I’m living my best life alone or with someone. It’s all or nothing for me.
Until then, cherish what you got. Spend time with them whenever you can. Kiss, hug and love……but yes, it can happen to you too.
You’ve got to believe in the possibilities. You’ve got to believe that tomorrow can be better than today. And here’s the big one. Believe in yourself.