Days since Layoff: 148 Days
Emotions: Tired and Fed Up
Daily Activities: Writing, Trying to Motivate, Feeling somewhat depleted and defeated
All I want to do the minute I hang up the phone with my sister-in-law Noreen is sleep.
We do not have the typical conversations about people, current events, or who’s sick and who’s not. We go much deeper by talking about experiences and instances in life (past or current). We discuss what irks us and how we can learn from those experiences and move forward instead of harbouring the burden on ourselves.
I love these conversations as rare as they are. Sometimes they can last over 2 hours where other’s only last a short time. Our conversations can leave me feeling depleted and frustrated only to figure out the best route in the end. These conversations make you think.
It was my turn to monopolize the conversation which dealt with negative people. I have had some serious issues with negative people and how it has impacted my world. Along with my own personal stress, having these people in my world right now, is very hard to deal with. The more extreme these people become the more my head hurts, my heart pains and stress rises. I haven’t seen myself in this condition in well over a year or two. Best way to describe my situation, 4 cage walls with a door and the key is hanging on the wall, but the broom stick is just a little beyond my reach.
After much thought, I realize that not all negative people fall into the same basket and that some have the potential to get out of the negative route while others are too far gone. Some despite their negativity are good people on the inside and I want them in my life despite their faults. Of course I would! I’m not perfect either and I’m sure I have faults that tick them off as well.
After a long sleep, I tried to figure out whose worth reasoning with and who isn’t. I find that, at times, I put negative people in the same basket and that is simply unfair.
The Negative: These individuals just simply cannot fathom the positive of any situation. Discussing things with them in a positive light only brings up other obstacles. They are very good at steering a conversation with plenty of “buts”. They can see the light in the end. Even a positive person can fall into this category when times are tough.
Negative-Compulsive: These people are inherently negative about the people around them. They do not hesitate to insult or talk about other people in a bad light. However, these people make sure that their world is perfect in the eyes of the public so no one has the opportunity to comment about their world; A perfectly happy marriage, a perfectly clean house, a handsome car which glimmers in the sun, and a perfect family. They see the negative in others and their surrounding situations. Sometimes I wonder if they are happy to see other people’s misfortunes. These people don’t prepare if and when their world’s come crumbling down as at the end of the day, there are few willing to help.
Negative-Angry: This type of individual I sincerely feel the most sorry for. They do not see the goodness in anything but says nothing. They take it out on loved ones and employees. They are the bullies. Their perception of perfection is unattainable. They are truly good people with a poor view on their life and their image. It’s sad that everyone else must pay for it.
THEN there are the:
Negative-Angry-Compulsive: These people I have zero tolerance for. Simply put, they enjoy making individuals in their lives feel worthless. I also believe that there is no light at the end of their tunnel as all they can do is blame others for their misgivings while all along making their world a perfectly perfect place where no one can cast stones.
What they don’t realize is that people distance themselves simply because they can’t do anything right. They spend their time thinking and analyzing every situation and person in their life and simply feel that they have it/them all figured out. There’s no talking to them or reasoning with them. They are always right and they rationalize this by their perfect settings around them. If you step on their opinions or territory, watch the anger fly!
Since I have been overloaded with Negative, Angry, Compulsive people, I find myself bitter, angry and frustrated. I can say I’m done with it, but how does one truly escape? There are some that I address my issues with, while others are unapproachable as reasoning is not part of their vocabulary. Talking from the heart is unfathomable. Again, it’s sad that everyone in their lives must pay for it.
It truly is a difficult spot to be in. Some people have the power to stand these people for years and years. Myself, I am amazed. Do I admire the spouses who can stay with the extreme negative types? hmmm…good question. I think they are extremely understanding and tolerable people who deserve a medal if they make it through life without snapping.
Anyway, that’s my take on this and I’m much to tired about it to go on and on. At the end of the day, I’m thankful that I have someone as insightful as Noreen to bounce things off on from time to time.