I’m so emotionally spent today after last night. I only thought I was dealing with typical teenage issues we have all experienced in our life.
A young boy is suffering and I feel so responsible in assisting his family through this journey. He’s smart, comical, and a genuinely nice guy. However, he suffers with OCD and he has become very obsessed with the happiness of my daughter. So much so, that anything that sets her off, sets him off too.
His parent’s have pulled him from school due to the fact that he has had a breakdown. When I ask Christina about it, it sounds like typical teenage issues.
A few months ago, I felt his over-attentiveness to Christina was a little odd, however, I just pushed it off with the reasoning that, when I was that age, I chose boys that truly never gave a shit about me. In my eyes, the relationship was very innocent and very pure.
I was happy that Christina had someone she could talk to, depend on, and help her with her homework. These were the things we tried to help Christina with, but she never allowed us to do as parents. He made her try harder and her marks skyrocketed. She was happy and flourishing.
However, as she flourished, he was spiralling downwards into an abyss of misery. I’m almost certain that it isn’t only an obsession with Christina’s well being, however, she is part and parcel of a bigger picture. I’m scared for her, I’m scared for him.
I’m thinking if he’s so sick, why stop him from seeing the person that could possibly help him the most. He calls daily, in fact, last night, he walked from Clyde to Cambridge, barefoot, adamant to see her after a continuous argument with his parent’s. Yikes!
His mother called me hysterical and I ran to my car to go looking for him saying I would do anything to help. Fortunately, Christina was able to find him at a friend’s house and encourage him to call home. Toby also talked to him and opened the door to continuous conversation when he needed it.
He may be 15, but he’s still a little boy! A little boy who shouldn’t have so much stress.
I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to put my daughter out there, but I do not believe in anyone going through any sorrowful journey alone. If she can safely help another being, on this earth, through the black clouds of life, then a war has been won.
Those darn black clouds. I’ve had them, I know most of us have. The time of life where nothing feels good, your mind is black, your thinking is skewed and nothing appears “good”. Sometimes it’s mild, while other times we just don’t know how we’ll make it to see tomorrow.
Mine started after having bills, having children, and having adult issues. I know it is part of my emotional programming as a child, however, it surfaced when I was able to get through it. There are things that I shouldn’t have ever experienced as a child and manifesting these feelings and recognizing them as nothing more than an intrusive experience has been a journey like no other.
However, when I look at this child, I see a great family. Mom is a scientist participating in the cloning experiments in Guelph and the father is a farmer. They appeared to be cheerful, sociable and very organized. I was proud to hear his mother’s voice the first time I had Doug over as she asked if I’d be home. I thought it was very respectable. Now I’m beginning to wonder if there was more to that question? I quickly push it from my mind but it’s still there.
I feel compelled to write about this. I feel compelled to stand up and say how unfair it is that children have to deal with huge complex issues. I feel compelled to ask “What the hell went so wrong in our life that our children are being punished for our new beliefs?”
I have recognized, thanks to Wayne Dyer, that we all have our own Dharma and interference by another only makes life stressful and much harder to find the path we are meant to walk.
I have experienced that no matter what you are going through as an adult, don’t involve your children in the roller coaster ride. If you’re divorcing, share the kids don’t use them as pawns. If you’re financially strapped, don’t blurt out “we’re broke” all the time. If you hate your job, quit it for god’s sake because the kid’s do take on your stress. I’ll choose to be the pot this time, next time I’ll be the kettle.
Guide, don’t tell.
More listening, less talk. We’ll learn so much more about their spirit.
Our beliefs are not necessarily the beliefs of our children.
We can’t buy our children’s happiness after it’s too late.
However, when push comes to shove and our children are mentally ill, what do we do? Is it how we programmed these children or is it destiny? After reading the Indigo Child, I truly believe that everyone on this earth is here on for a purpose. Is it to be mentally ill or is it for a higher purpose that we can’t possibly understand or allow? How can we help those children when we are involved intimately ONLY when the parent’s require assistance?
I feel like calling her today and saying, just allow them to talk. It may help him on his journey back to clarity. However, there’s a little voice in my mind asking whether I am putting my child at risk?
Many a time, that little voice is right. I just don’t know.