As I view people who surround me, I see strength, courage, and an undeniable resiliance. Yesterday, I noticed a Facebook status which displayed a sign of weakness from one of the strongest people I know. Her brother is going through a city re-election, where he has been mayor for seven years. Much to everyone’s chagrin, last year he got caught with his pants down, when it was disclosed that he spent over seven hundred dollars at strip club, in South Carolina, on the town’s credit card.
What struck me about her Facebook Status was that her comment hit hard on the grammatical expertise of his competitors. I started thinking “Why defend your brother’s actions with a weak debate, such as grammatical expertise?” However, as I reflect, she is a school teacher who once called my learning disabled daughter “Dumb”. So really she isn’t as strong as she’s making herself out to be.
I took a great deal of time thinking about this and about the changes in my life. I have always been a 1/2 full kind of person up until the time that the recession hit and I made some incredibly stupid career choices. Since then, I’ve purposely found the weakness in everything which hasn’t helped me one bit in getting back the career status that I used to have.
Weakness is power to control. Letting go of weakness is a sheer sign of better things to come. However, I have been having a hard time getting through the weakness.
I envy those women who can work full time, juggle a family, keep their house spotless, and have time for working out, pedicures and social outings. The best that I could ever do was work and juggle my family. I so desire to break through this weakness so I can allow myself the opportunity to experience all of the juggling because juggling is for the strong, who perservere in times of weakness and fatigue. I want to be strong!
Next month, my budget is going to accomodate the purchase of “The Shift”, a movie written by Wayne Dyer. Apparantly, this movie is a self help, self growth piece which makes you really think of the path one is on today. I need something because as my weight and smoking increases, I’m headed for disaster.
Right now, I drive over 1000 km a week to get to work. I applaud my efforts but I’m ashamed of the amount of complaining that I do. I applaud my efforts to financially protect my family, but I’m not living my best life. I applaud my patience for driving in traffic and through accidents, but it also scares the dickens out of me.
I just want to get rid of this weakness, quit my job to be with my family more, take a financial risk and hope for the best.