Well today is the last day of school for my daughter. I am feeling frustration and anger this morning. I can’t sleep as last night was devastating. She apparently was shunned. I think she expected that these bully’s would cower and apologize for their actions. However, they kept it going after a Vodka slam down at lunch hour. Just minor slurs, but a slur can be just as devastating as a full outright insult. Nope, the school did nothing.
I am angry because she was driven out of the school. I am angry that the school had no communication with me (aside from the transfer) in regards to this issue. I am angry that no one truly listened. I’m in despair because it’s a fact; bullying will always exist no matter how hard we fight it, how insane we may defend it, or how much we speak up. There will always be people who bully, and there will always be people who ignore it and defend it.
My daughter does have faults. In this instance, yes, she may have contributed to the initial reaction of these bully’s. There was a time in Grade 7, where a guidance counsellor said to me that “she asks for it”. I still cannot comprehend how a person can ask to be bullied. The only rational thing that comes to mind is perhaps she responds to it rather than ignores it, like my son does.
So here we are, a new school, new possibilities, and a daughter who firmly believes that going back to her old stomping grounds will bring more grief. She cannot fathom the concept that things may be GREAT! She cannot reconcile in her mind that she’s got to walk in with a smile and keep her positive attitude flowing.
I am just beyond myself and I’m so afraid that she will try to do something to herself again. Yes, I feel at times that I’ve gone insane. Last night, I have come to the conclusion that I have to put all of this in God’s hands and continue on with my life. I haven’t slept right, ate right, looked for a job, interviewed properly. I have a business to start up but no heart to even get it started. My son is on the back burner and my husband is working like a dog to support us since this incident led me to quit my job in Toronto.
I have to move forward even if she is lagging behind. I feel horrible doing it, but being her supporter in despair is not helping anything. We need to bring positivity back into the home.
All I can say is that I pray for her, I pray for the bullies and I pray for all of the other poor bullied children of the world. This will never end until severe consequences are implemented.
