Yesterday was a day of uncertainty. Today is a day of sorrow and despair. As a mother, I’m at my wit’s end.
To live your own life, one can resign to the fact that life’s just like that and move forward in hopes of good things to come. However, with a husband and children, life isn’t like that. We must also accomodate them; their feelings, their fears, and their own personal despair.
I never knew my daughter’s depth of despair until yesterday. We went for a routine physical and the doctor informed her that she was overweight. Deep down, she knew this, however, it came to light during the appointment. She has never been overweight, but since this bullying incident, she’s gained a whopping twenty pounds. Albeit, she’s beautiful with her junk in the truck but she will hear none of that.
I want to get it through to her that Life is Beautiful, once the rain has stopped and you find your own identity. However, after speaking to a few friends, I guess she’s not the only teenager that just doesn’t get it.
My husband’s family has weight issues, as do I. I never did teach my children healthy eating habits. Sure, we eat lots of healthy foods, but there’s always junk in the pantry. That stops today.
My daughter cried and cried last night. So much so that she was depleted. She explained to me that her trust factor, at her new school, is zero. She’s too scared to approach new people because of her fear of being bullied again. She feels that she is now being scrutinized because of her weight (which probably isn’t the case). Ultimately, her inner soul is shattered based on this incident.
What do I do? She is still a typical teenager who, when angered, takes it out on us. It’s frustrating to the family and it has driven a wedge between us. There is just no helping this child, even with the counselling that she’s getting that I’m at the point of seeking help with mental health. I’m so petrified that she will do something to herself once again.
I begrudge the school for doing nothing about this incident. However, what possible changes would there have been to her emotional state if they did do anything? Would an eye for an eye heal the wounds? The only noble resolution was an apology from these kids, which the mother’s were adamant she wasn’t going to get. It was her issue, not their son’s because they are “good kids”.
I’m so angry, at my daughter’s downward spiral, that I just want to go to their doors and give them the biggest blasting of their life. But I won’t…….but it’s well deserved if I did.
Anyway, (as a sigh) I had to write this because I’m, once again, put into a corner. I don’t know who to turn to or how to help her.
Teenage years, some are more resiliant than other’s through this journey. I’m at least happy that so far, I have one that’s going through it without a scratch…then again he’s only 14.
Til Next Time,