Little Children, Little Worries - Big Children, Bigger Worries

My children are sixteen months apart and for the past sixteen years I loved the closeness in age. I loved watching them interact as children. They protected each other and loved each other to death. Nothing could tear them apart.

Now that they are teenagers, I’ve come to realize how some siblings distance themselves in adulthood. In my case, these days my children are oil and water in personality and attitude. One is an emotional roller coaster desperately fighting the waves of adolescents, while the other is wading through the ripples as smooth as silk. There’s a competitive edge between the two of them that I have never seen before. Everything has changed…my family is no longer the close, tight knit, fun loving, happy go lucky group that we were not so long ago. It feels more like a business now; the business of growing up.

I recall a time when spending a night out together was starting at a restaurant and end up walking the streets of Toronto. Today, I spend so much time alone begging for their audience.

Life is composed of juggling driving, television time, computer and PlayStation time, and finding precious time for silence and peace. The house is louder now than before. I remember our house always being loud, perhaps it’s intensified with animosity and bickering. Whatever it is, its utterly fatiguing.

AND THE WORRIES! You worry whether they tried drugs, are taking drugs, are being bullied, or if they are bullying. You worry about leaving them walk the streets after dark, worry about if they are happy at school, worry about whether their horrible teenage attitudes will ever change. You worry if they can keep their first job. Worry about getting their driver’s license. Worry about them driving.

My mom was right; The bigger the children, the bigger the worries.

I want these last years together to be blissful….but perhaps that these are the days my kids will giggle about when they reminise as adults?

Oh….if i could only have my sweet cherubs back!

I yearn for the days where my child would hop in bed in the middle of the night causing a sleepless night with the covers yanked off.
I yearn for the sporadic hugs and consistent I love you.
I yearn for the days whether I should have a healthy supper or KD and Cheese?
I yearn for the sweet smell of childhood after every bath and they are tucked in at night.
If I could go back in time, I would read every book on the bookshelf and not complain that I was too tired to read (that is now boxed for my grandchildren)

All of these New Age Freak Doctors are wrong. Stop worrying and start living with your little children. It’s all ok in moderation because come hell or high water, they will all grow up and make their own decisions.

My only advice to young moms?

Enjoy it as it goes too fast.
Do the cuddling in the family bed.
Enjoy the sleepless nights.
Don’t fuss over bad marks, they will “get it” in time.
Don’t worry about the spilled milk, as everything can be cleaned up.
Never say I can’t wait til they are “?”, because every passing day they are getting more independent and everyday you are forced to let go a little at a time.
Drink it in, because right now, no matter what you are going through, it’s smooth sailing because you’re still in charge.
And if you wake up one Saturday morning with a list of To-Do’s but the kid’s want to go to Niagara…..God Darn It, drop everything, find a cheap motel on Lundy’s Lane and do it! Life’s too short and you’ll regret not being sporatic when they are young. Seriously, there is absolutely nothing on an “urgent” to do list that can’t wait (unless it’s surgery or a dying relative). Those are the days that they remember the most!

The days of youth will never return so embrace it, hold it dear, and take lots of videos for those days you want to look back.

(I hope this makes sense because I’m just a sentimental fool today.)