This may very well be the most humiliating post I’ll ever write.  Along with the humility, it is also going to be the biggest commitment I have ever made in my life.

Last summer, as I was sitting outside the Toronto Convention Centre smoking a cigarette, I was called “nasty” by some pompous person (who was also smoking).  Obviously they felt that my weight was unacceptable in their presence.  While I did not take stock in her rudeness, it really did hurt.  Yes, I’ll be honest and admit that I’m extremely obese and a smoker.

This summer my health started deteriorating.  I could not breathe as freely and I felt every ache and pain associated with walking.  Did I do anything about it?  No, I probably smoked more and had something to eat.

Then the kicker, I have never been bigger than a 2x. This fall, I was appalled to learn that I had graduated to 3x in most cases.   Feeling extremely embarrassed and horrified with myself, I probably ate something.  I thought to myself that my metabolic clock is slowing down and it’s time to do something about it.

Last week, I felt like such a hypocrite writing about the Ride for Life VIP program knowing that, one day, I would be a #1 candidate in utilizing the funds raised.  Because of my extreme feeling of hypocrisy, I decided that since I’ll be 39 next week it’s time to make a change!

I plan to quit smoking on November 25th, 2011 and I will start a healthy eating regime starting that day as well.  I have solicited the support of some organizations as I know that I cannot do this alone.  Some have agreed, some have declined. What I believe I need is a Personal Trainer, a lifeline when I am at my worst, and a lot of support from family and friends.

The Heart and Stroke Foundation is completely supportive of my efforts and will ride along with me during this journey.  I thank them so much for extending that olive branch.

If it all falls into place, the bike will be the small stuff in the bigger picture of healthy living.

I’ve always been a quitter but this time it is going to be so different.  I have committed myself to participate in Ride for Heart on June 3rd, 2012.  I will raise the $1,000 to be a VIP Participant.  I have committed to them that I will be the person who will take their mission to heart and make a change in my life.

I want to do this for myself, but I’ve had to commit to something worthwhile to drive myself and be accountable for my actions.

I will be vlogging and blogging along the way.  I have created a new menu item, on my blog, so you can follow my progress, my trials, and anxieties along the way.  I want to encourage and inspire on this journey.  I want it to be funny because it’s the best part of who I am. The video below is by no means a sob story but a release of all that I’ve been scared to admit for most my adult life.

Let the journey begin.

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