I’ve left 90% of the past behind me…sometimes I like to believe it’s a 100 percent. However, when that ugly monster comes lurking my anger surfaces and dreadful memories of the past come to life.
It’s not often. Most of the time it’s in the presence of someone dear to me or a moment when I want to give it all up. All of my dreams and aspirations look like minuscule morsels of dust in the sky going higher and higher beyond my reach. In fact, this is the first time in my life that I’ve persevered!
Then there is that wall, that very thick brick wall, with no mortar but steel holding it together. The wall comes up when presented with a situation and it has the capability of breaking down my dreams, aspirations, and even my reputation at times. It is a wall where I will let no one pass, not even my children and husband.
The wall even prevents me from seeing exactly what I’m angry about. I have no idea what it is. I have no idea what is required to forgive in order to move forward because I have no idea why that wall is there! How crazy is that??
I have talked about this wall to several people over the past few weeks and no one seems to understand my vengeance that I have for this wall. I’m so hoping that Oprah’s Lifeclass tomorrow can assist me. It’s one small thing in my life that needs further development…one small thing that causes a world of problems for me.
If I had one question to ask tomorrow night to Oprah or any of her teachers it would be: How do I break down this wall once and for all to open my heart to love, light, and success?
See you tomorrow Oprah fans!