Making a marriage work, through thick and thin, can suck the life out of us. It is a true test of love and war.
There are times when we are blindly in love. There are times where we’d love to hang them from the fence post and leave them there. There are times, when we feel a decision must be made.
In our twenties, we were raging youths fighting for our own way. We would argue over everything and anything. We still had love, passion, and each other. We wouldn’t dare do anything alone in fear of what the other was up to. I was never jealous but I never did go out alone in fear that he would be upset with me. I see that in many women that age still today.
Towards the end of our twenties and beginning of our thirties, life found a balance. He did his thing, I did mine, and we came together always. With money struggles, kids and work, we found our way through tougher times.
However, recently, I have been calling this new stage, the friggin forties (verbally I’d be harsher) because I hate them. Is it written somewhere that when a woman finds balance in her life, a man can suddenly be grumpy day in and day out? Lately, I find myself tip toeing around the house not daring to say a cross word because an eruption could take place. Above all, when he thinks that I’m not looking he’s out laughing with the neighbors!
OMG, I’m just to the point of exhaustion with rebellious teens and a cranky husband. I need a Calgon moment in a hotel room or a Canadian Club week away.
Yesterday, I thought to myself, oh yes, he’s f***ed and I’m leaving. I was so close to packing my bags and saying “Tally ho family! Deal with your indecision, crankiness, negative thoughts, and call me when you’re done.”
In fact, I did say it in other words….and then suddenly….an argument, silence, and then a little kissing ass. At that point, I’m beyond hopping mad when he gives me the “You must have two heads” look and says, “Aren’t we done fighting Trina?”
“Well, you may be done, but I’m far from done!!!”, generally after that statement, I go and nap. in my twenties, I would have carried the fight on for hours. Now a days, I do not handle heated arguments very well. You see, I don’t ask to be right, but don’t screw around with me because of your middle age angst! I just want harmony, peace, and happiness.
Yes, married life is a roller coaster ride between heaven and hell. It can test the remainder of your patience, but it can also bring you joy. I’m sure as he gets older, there will be more challenges. However, I’m sure there is a list of things that he can produce that makes him cringe as well.
I have not come to the point of having to make a serious decision about our relationship and I’m grateful for that. I’m hoping that he can put up with me, and I him, for many years to come.
Take the good with the bad, it’s a contract.