Well I finally figured out my problem….ME. I truly think that I should be completely alone in a moderate to medium stress level environment and watch me fly. Anything other than that, well my tolerance level is minimal. I should be out schmoozing to come back to my office completely alone or with a boss who I speak on the same level with.

Today was the first day of the new “IT” girl where I work. IT is not an acronym for Information Technology (see note on the “IT” girl to understand). “IT” is how I perceive myself in this environment. I started doing my daily routine where I walked her through the steps briefly, as she was already trained for 2 weeks in other environments. One of the trainers was my trainer so I can attest to her expertise and meticulous training capabilities first hand. After about an hour and a half in the same software, she finally realized that she was in that software and gleefully exclaimed..”YEAH WE ARE IN SOLOMON.” Yes, we started the day off in it, I thought, what is it that you learned for two weeks?

THEN, she seen a subject line in an email to my boss with her name on it. She says “That’s me! Are you talking about me already??” Giggle Number 1 Huge chuckle. Calling Dr. David, we have a paranoid on our hands.

I then proceeded to allow her to hone on her training skills by doing it all hands on. The report did not coincide with the on screen report and I stated “Oh, you’re on October 14th” in a very demure voice. No accusations…no tone…nothing. Well she just flew at me like I was a barbarian trying to steal her cud. Ok, I stated “It’s fine…let’s go to Thursday the 21st, no worries”. Oh boy, I thought, I’m working five feet from a potential tiger attack situation for God knows how long. Good to know. Giggle Number 2

I silently excused myself and left her on her own. I went into my boss’s office and stated that if per chance they had the thought of firing me tomorrow with the high expectations of her taking over…all he’d get is a smile. (Keep in mind, I walked into a warehouse when I started. It was dirty and the girl everyone loved was fired abruptly. Messy desk from her response to the firing, a dirty environment, and just ME on my own)

I said to him that this was the fault of the team which starts with M and ends with MENT because I know the people who trained her and it was by far not long enough time hands on. So either the training was wrong or she didn’t listen. Giggle number 3

So I proceed to go out to Staples to assist in setting her up, even though the MMENT did not set up passwords, usernames and such. (I began worrying that leaving her alone at my computer may be detrimental as she has access to my email. Perhaps she’ll be reviewing them? None of which, speak about her other than requests for setup.)

We returned with lunch and a whole bag of goodies. In this new office, we have 10 drawers but all have the hangers for folders. Well, we don’t need one drawer let alone 10. She asked where she should put all the extra supplies so no one will steal them. I said “In the drawers.”….She says “but they have the hangers for folders”. I said “Let’s just pretend that they aren’t there and we’ll use one for storage.” Giggle number 4

After that I continued training her on my day to day duties that had to get completed. I looked back to tell her something. She was GONE! I looked at the receptionist and in my best Austin Powers impersonation said “Really, who takes off while being trained?” I went looking for her and she was chatting it up with the boss. Giggle number 5

So suffice to say, I gave up on that. I said that it would be a great idea to get her setup so she can start to get to know the environment online. Despite her knowledge of the corporate world and knowing that there are “People” who will do this for us, I am a computer literate person who knows her way around networking and such, I said that I was quite capable in doing the task.
Now these desks are huge and heavy. So I proceeded to move her monitor and box around so I could get behind the desk with my hands. So I’m trying to crunch my hands in this tight hole to plug in the electrical in the socket and network cable in the jack. I pulled back and seen my boss was much tinier in hands so I proceed to say “You do it!” But as I pulled back, she decided to decorate around me and the pencils spilled everywhere. I said “Really!” Much to my chagrin, I used the wrong plug for the electrical and had to again manuveur around to unplug and plug in the power bar. Again, the decorating started around me. Bang when the pencils, pens, and her magnifying glass. She’s like “NO not my magnifier”. I said “I’m working around here!” Then the network cable wouldn’t work because it was in a disconnected jack. At that point, I went to check behind her computer before I attempted in calling my boss to get behind the desk again, and when I got up….can you guess what happened AGAIN? Giggle number 6

As all this was taking place, I had installs on the brain, my install manager waiting for me, and the phone was ringing wild. I had so much on my mind. She began to talk about how she could decorate the place and proceeded to put pictures up and say that tonight she’s going to get plants! We need plants! I said “We need to get this done so we can get back to work. I’m happy I no longer work in a dirty environment where my desk ruined all my clothes because it was covered in splinters and duct tape. I don’t care about plants or pictures at this point. I’m just thankful I have a desk and a workspace that’s warm in the winter and cool in the summer unlike the warehouse.” Giggle number 7

The day was coming to a close; I sent someone a quick email to decompress….all it said was OMG!!! I apologize to the person I sent it to for the misunderstanding. It was my way of just getting it out to someone. I was showing the new girl how to do the daily schedules when she started humming and talking about the plants. I stopped, looked at her, and said “We’re done for today”. Giggle number 8

I tried to sneak into the boss’s office before I left to make a proposition. I barely had a word out of my mouth when she walks in and proceeds to stay. So I stated to my boss “Remember that project that I spoke of, well I’d like your attention in the near future so I can formally propose it in light of new developments.” She sat, smiled, and didn’t leave. I did. Giggle number 9

Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful for the new girl. Here’s to many fun filled days to come and since that little rubber piece along the side of the desk doesn’t allow a gateway for network and electrical cords to get to the outlet’s like it should, I said to my boss that little bottles of rye and bailey’s will fit in there just fine and it would definately hold 30 of them. Giggle Number 10.

Three cheers for the company I work for supplying me with, not one, but 10 giggles of the day.

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