Facebook Status on September 24th at 10:28 PM (after a few drinks of rye and consoling my son on the loss of a fellow cadet)

You know..even though I drive 1000 km a week, my kid’s don’t do chores, my husband plays video games, my house is messy, and the dog has a peeing problem…the bigger picture makes all of this the “small stuff”. I wouldn’t want to be the parent’s of Drum Major Lowrey tonight in their grief. Life’s too short and having the last word isn’t the solution. Live life as it’s always the last day.”

We spend our lives bitching…..whether it be about our career, our family, or our status on this earth.  Really, at the end of the day the King and the Pawn go back in the same box!  Why worry?  Live life, live free, take chances, and make mistakes.  Prevent bankruptcy, but hell if you have to do it to be your true self,  Bob is your uncle!!!  Go for it because even though the money and credit are gone….your spirit isn’t.

We try to live like the Jones’ when in actual fact, I’ve never seen a Jones whose any happier than we are.  In fact, the Jones’ are so worried about money and prestige that they really don’t know pure happiness and joy.

Tonight, 17 year old Drum Major Alan Lowrey died of a successful suicide attempt.  He was a leader in the cadet movement.  A great friend and classmate.  What caused this strong young man to become so weak?   Will anyone ever truly know besides his most intimate relations?  Do they even know?  If they don’t know, was their signs that they were oblivious to due to external stimuli?

The thing is that I’m left to wonder is if I really know what goes through my children’s minds?   Do my words hurt them and do they try to express this to me?  Am I too busy to listen?  I think that I’m a good parent, but is it enough?  Is it too much?

I looked at my children tonight and said “I don’t expect you to be perfect, but I want you to be part of the family.  I don’t expect a lot out of you, but serving for the greater good is something we should all do.   I don’t expect myself to be perfect, but I want you to tell me about my mistakes and what hurts you as an individual.  At the end of the day, when you leave the nest, I want you to fly free confidently and proud to be the person you are.”

This has been a trying day and after it all, I’m at a loss. RIP Alan Lowrey.

Life is truly one fat blog…make it good, praise your family, savour it, and make it last.

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