Today has been one of those days. It was a day where I reviewed where I am in life. I’m not trying to toot my horn, but I’m very good at what I do. However, the problem is that it doesn’t drive me.
Realistically, if I could sit and blog all day, I would be at peace. If I could write from the heart consistently, I would find solace that I’m working for a better good.
Sigh, I’ve been accepted into college for Journalism and I reaaallly really want it. Money is the key factor. Finding the tuition is one thing, but keeping the house afloat is another. I really hoped that my blogging would have assisted my income by now. I know that there’s something I’m doing wrong and quite frankly, it’s frustrating the hell out of me.
- Is it my age?
- Is it the way I write?
- Should I be catering to businesses and offering giveaways?
- Am I writing about things in life that should only be written about by young cutie pies?
Grr…I don’t think I’ve ever felt this old! I said to my husband today that I’m not giving up, and I’m NOT! I want to keep pursuing my dreams. Hell, if Ellen and Oprah can be icons to the young at over fifty, then I’ve still got a long way to go to get there!! If Tina Turner can still belt it out at 70 and have legs of a 20 year old, then to hell with it, don’t give up because I’m not the norm!
I am small but powerful in my own way….perhaps that’s the way I have to do it; no dependence on anyone or any company.
Perhaps college will not happen this year. I think everything happens for a reason. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen no matter how frustrating it may be.
I ended my conversation with my husband by stating that perhaps this is exactly where were supposed to be and as frustrating as it is……Honestly, I’m still quite content with life despite these moments of anxiety. He agreed wholeheartedly.
Till Next Time,