Here are 10 things that show a woman is really strong in her mind. These things are: feeling confident, being optimistic, staying productive, chasing her dreams, not letting fear stop her, being kind & keeping promises, standing up for what she thinks is right, feeling proud of who she is, not worrying about other people’s opinions, and being herself no matter what. Being mentally tough isn’t about how you look, how famous you are, or how much money you have. It’s all about who you are on the inside and making sure you look after yourself.

Feeling Confident

For much of my life, I lacked confidence in many departments of my life. However, it took sheer perseverance to forge ahead. I made a great career for myself with a high school education. I separated from the person I loved most, because I believed in myself and respected the person that I am. I never looked back. I went back to college and landed an amazing job thereafter. I have done amazing interviews with amazing people. I take chances. At least once a week, I do outreach that scares the hell out of me. If I get rejected, so be it. Without confidence, I don’t know where I’d be in life.

Being Optimistic

This is a daily battle for me. While I hate seeing that glass half empty, it crawls into my head more often than not. It greatly impacts my mood and thought process for many issues I face in my life. That said, I do pray nightly in my head. I say mantras that help me get through the day. I know who I am, and I have faith in my friends. For those that have spent their life with me, I don’t think I’ve ever had an argument with those who matter the most. There was one, but that was due to someone’s abusive lying behaviour getting between us. We have rekindled our friendship and I hope to forge ahead as we did for the past twenty years. So ya, I’m cautiously optimistic.

Not Letting Fear Stop You

So many people do not forge ahead because of fear. On my wrist I have a tattoo that says, “Fear Nothing.” While fear creeps in from time to time, I quickly realize that I’ve been through betrayal trauma, an abusive relationship, was absolutely traumatized by someone I don’t even know, dealt with the death of my ex, and now dealing with stalkers. I often say to myself, well if you’ve went through all that, you can do this simple fearful task. Mentally strong women face their fears, problems, and issues. We tackle them head on, and we do not run away from them.  I’m never scared to pick up the phone and tackle a difficult issue. Text is not for me when it comes to dealing with the fearful or tough stuff. It actually angers me more when someone is too cowardly to pick up the phone. I like things resolved. If it can’t be resolved, move on, ignore and face the next fear.

Being Kind, Compassionate and Keeping Promises

I am kind to all those who deserve my kindness. We are at our best when we are caring and loving individuals. I have had many manic moments where I haven’t been kind to a particular person. For example, I really wasn’t giving my ex much of a chance due to the temperature of our broken relationship. We both were equally as angry. However, when I had to give away the family dog, I didn’t think twice to ask him if he wanted her, as both were part of our family. He couldn’t, but he thanked me for offering. Not including him in my search for a home would have been abusive to him AND our family pet. I couldn’t have lived with myself. I’d have to be pretty evil and demented not to ask.

As well, the spousal support agreement was placed until I was 65. However, I made a promise to him that once I was on my feet, I’d stop it immediately. I don’t think he believed me. I may not have liked him at the time, but keeping promises and being kind is very important to me. I hate when I see people hide information to abuse the spousal and/or child support system. It’s just abusive and disgusting. In many cases, there is just cause for both support systems, but being kind, fair and keeping promises helps you go to bed at night peacefully.

Standing Up For What You Think is Right

No one can ever say that I back down on what I think is right. The other day, my friend and I were talking about a photo shoot for the magazine that I was vehemently against. It was with Larry Flynt, the owner of Hustler Magazine. We had a renovation magazine and the team (mostly men) wanted him on it when most of our readers were women. Last week he said to me, “Man, you were scary.” I agreed with him, but I said that if I didn’t care about everyone’s jobs and our reputation, shit could have went sour really quickly since Flynt was known for his controversial thoughts, as well as showcased cartoons like “Chester the Molester” in his publication. It was the worst fit imaginable. I don’t back down from anyone.

So far, if anyone approaches me, I am happy to explain my stance. It’s not about fighting, it standing up for what you think is right. Abusers are the only ones who don’t take kindly to my forthright thoughts. I haven’t lost any friends over it, and actually earned respect from many. I say what too many people are scared to say, or are so badly abused and bullied that they are complacent.

Feeling Proud of Who You Are

You were given one brain and one body. Feeling like you’re lesser than the next person only brings you down. Showing pride in ourselves is not always being egotistical. We deserve to feel proud of ourselves and our accomplishments, and we deserve to share our pride. A mentally strong woman remains respectful when feeling excited and proud.  When I was meeting all those HGTV and musical folk, I made an effort to include my friends as part of my life. My friend blogs on her, I had another person who took a chance and did interviews, and all my friends met their favourite HGTV personalities. I made it a point to include them in my growth.

Chase Your Dreams

No matter what we all have dreams. Dreams may change over time but that shouldn’t stop you from chasing them when you’re dreaming about them. I dreamt about shooting on the red carpet at TIFF. I didn’t stop until I finally was standing there in awe. I did it and, still to this day, I’m shocked that I was granted that perfect one-time experience. I was into a lot of celebrity at one point. While I loved it, it’s not longer my style. I’ve outgrown it. Currently, I’m dreaming of my forever home in a place that suits who I am. I dream that my book will one day come to fruition and be a pivotal publication to assist women and men to live life to the fullest by having the strength to stand tall against addiction and domestic mental abuse. I lived it twice, and I want to help others. I want the nice things in life; Great friends, a dedicated companion who I can build a life with zero abuse and obstacles, and just fun. I dream of life being fun going forward. We only live once, take the chance and chase those dreams!

Not Worrying About People’s Opinions

This one is a challenge for me. It’s HUGE. A mentally strong woman can deal with negative people by just not paying attention to their mean comments. It’s hard to ignore the bad stuff people say, but it can be done. We don’t want other people’s opinions to shape who we are, so we have to get good at not letting the negative things they say bother us. So, although I’m working on this, being proud of who I am and taking a stand for what I think is right, enables me to respond to mentally abusive people.

Being Yourself No Matter What

Through my friends, we’ve banded together to rise each other up. Turning 50 and facing new problems has made us closer, softer to one another, and helping each other to see things as they are. You don’t have to change yourself just to make other people happy or to impress them. Being okay with the life you’ve got and liking who you are inside is a big part of staying true to yourself. You can be who you want. Date who you want. Live how you want.

Last night, my son and I talked about buying a house together. While it would be a smart move in one sense, I explained that I want my next place to be my forever home and I didn’t want to stop them from living and exploring their life. I told him that I wanted to eventually find love and build a home with that person. I know he was a tad disappointed, but I can’t stop being me and losing my dreams and aspirations for anyone in my life. We all end up alone at one point or another. Respect others, but respect yourself more. I have walked away twice due to respecting myself, and I will walk alone so I can be 100% me.

Notes on a Fridge

I have decided to start a podcast on my pursuit to happiness. This blog is a god send, but I feel that with all of my stories shared, I can create a platform to inspire more people. This platform was created because of mental abuse, divorce and moving ahead. It circulated around music, but I feel it can be so much more to serve the greater good of women and men. After all, the pursuit of happiness is knowing who you are, loving who you are, and enjoying the people and things that embrace your life. I want all that back and I’m going to share all the trials and tribulations of me getting to that point again. Stay tuned! I have lots of techy learning to do!

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