Last year, my life was good. I would hop over to my neighbour’s house with a 26 of Rye and dancing/karaoke on my mind. I lived for Friday nights. I lived for the party. Not that it was bad, it was actually a lot of fun, laughs, and silliness. However, the next day, I always admitted that I loved to party because I could truly be myself. I knew deep down that it was only reason that I drank.
My friend moved from the neighbourhood and I nearly went bananas because my Friday Night drink night dissipated from weekly to next to never. However, I survived as I focused more on my blog and myself. It’s been a journey. A REALLY good journey.
I’m at the point of my life, that I am truly myself with or without rye. I don’t need alcohol, the dance floor and hoards of friend’s around to express myself. It feels really great.
Last night, I went to a party with all of my old party friends. I quickly realized that I’ve moved on as I watched them head to the dance floor and get a little crazy. I tried to join in the crowd as part of me was envious and for a moment I missed the good old days. The majority of me was fine with it and I was ready to go home. I have finally found my peace from within; the Zen that many speak about.
I think it was at that time I tweeted a friend and said, “I’ve got a feeling that my application for Pop Culture blogger will be denied. It’s just my gut telling me this.” I also thought to myself, I’m really not part of that elite group. (This opportunity came up for a Pop Culture blogger on one of the biggest blogging sites in Canada. Many tweeted me about it saying what a great fit I’d be. I applied)
She responded to saying “I’m praying for you”.
After little thought, I responded by saying, “You know what? I’m really fine with whatever comes my way.”
So between the two shots of rye, several drinks thereafter and going home to rest my head, I realized that I’m just fine exactly where I am. I don’t need notoriety, drinks, tons of friends, or lots of money to be the person I am meant to be. I simply have to keep focus on doing life my way.
It’s absolutely amazing that a girl like me can get to a point like this in life.