I think after reading the May 2012 Time article “Are you Mom Enough”, I could possibly be voted “Worst Mom of the Year”, even though my kids would probably disagree. I say probably rather lightly because one never knows.
My children were born in the mid 90’s in the small town of Gaspe Quebec. Now, call us hicks or old-fashioned, but we didn’t read the book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” but took note to the wise words of mothers before us who had very healthy, happy, and intelligent children. I also had a very old pediatrician who looked like Santa Clause.
When my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in Cambridge, Ontario, I called Dr. Pouliot for a third opinion. He agreed with the diagnosis as it was very thorough, and charged me one of my mother’s homemade pies to review it.
About the Time Article
I did not breastfeed by choice. I feel that it was my right, as a Mother, to choose my preference. My preference was boiling bottles and cases of SMA in my corner cupboard. To this day, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My children were on whole milk, in a cup, by the age of one, eating stew and vegetables, and fresh blueberry pudding.
We also cuddled our children. If they slept with us night after night, they were treated with extra good morning cuddles before we put the coffee on to begin our day.
My kids were always with me. A date night for hubby and I was packing the kids up in their pajamyas and going to the drive-in with them. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My kids were always loved. Scraps and cuts were always kissed and tended to. We always made sure that doctor’s were visited when required, but not so much that our children would be visiting the doctor for every ailment.
Our Children lived on a routine. Feedings were done in our home and naps and bedtime took place in their room. (Just like my naps and bedtime!)
My children are healthy, have no allergies, do well in school, and are social adept at 15 and 17 years of age. My daughter has ADHD and some learning disabilities which are genetic.
My son, who is 15-years-old, has declared that he now hates everyone in the family, but he doesn’t hate me AS much as the rest of them. That gives me some solace that my baby boy doe will return to loving me one day.
I have heard that this is another process in growth….I’m waiting for it to end.
About Attachment Parenting
I have never judged a mother on how they raise their children. I do not feel the need to judge anyone for that matter.
From my understanding, attachment parenting is that the child is always attached to the parent while on outings, in bed, and through breastfeeding the child until well into their toddler stage.
Bob’s your uncle. I think in some ways I participated in attachment parenting by keeping them closely guarded and allowing them into my bed well into the age of 7 or 8. Nightmares and fear is no fun for any child. I didn’t call it attachment parenting. I called it being a Mom when I used to say, “Move over” and cuddle with them in bed or while watching a movie.
However,because it’s given a “name”, it doesn’t give anyone the right to say that they are a better mother! Every mother and father has experienced the wrath of how our child was brought up in one form or another! Your child will never forget your greatest parenting faux pas and will bring it up to you several times during puberty. There is no winning.
However you choose to enjoy your little children, I say go for it. Deal with the repercussions later!
About the Breastfeeding and Keeping our Children on a Routine
Personally, I do not mind public breastfeeding. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I accept it as the norm in today’s culture. I know my husband and father are VERY uncomfortable and choose to leave the room. I think deal with it hubby and Dad.
I think the only thing I don’t understand about public breastfeeding is that a child needs to be on a schedule.
Even though I didn’t breast feed, I had my children on a schedule. My time to make an exit from the house with the children was late in the morning or afternoon. I made sure that they were fed, clean, and ready for an outing. If they were cranky or hungry, I simply stayed home.
There was never a time that I was required to sit in a restaurant, mall bench, or even in a park to feed them. Their routine came before my own. Things waited.
If we were visiting friends, despite having a lounger with us, bedtime was 8 pm and we had to be home to have them in their cribs.
Children thrive on routine and this is where I question the need to breastfeed in public. They are not dolls, they are little people who require a bed to sleep in when they need to rest and a familiar surrounding when fed. Just like us!
I always believed that a mother should spend the first year of being at home with their child, whether they are on EI, Welfare, or some sort of subsidy. The reason you are given these funds is to do just that. Be home with your child. It’s not a free pass to shop at the mall or take jaunts with friends. It’s to help you and your child get into the routine of living together.
About Breastfeeding in Front of Children
Well my thoughts on breastfeeding in front of children is that it is unnecessary. I think with everything we do, we should be asking permission to do something in front of a child before we do it. Whether it be drinking, swearing, talking about intimate things, and yes, even breastfeeding. It’s simply being respectful.
I’m sure my teenage children will make many wise cracks about the booby lady on the Time Magazine and we’ll have a good laugh over it. Had it been 7 years ago however, I would have FREAKED! How dare Time Magazine decide that it was OK to expose this to my children in the news stands!
As a mother, it is my civil right to decide what I share with my children and when. It is not up to a mother, the media, or anyone else for that matter! Breastfeeding is not a sexual act, but the breast is a part of the body that is hidden in daily life. There are strict guidelines at school forbidding teenage girls from exposing too much. So think about it. We are ok with the bare breast around little children to feed, but for a teenage girl to wear a scooped shirt exposing cleavage is forbidden?
What makes it so different if it’s so natural? That’s why there are rules because of this very fine line.
Next thing you know, we’ll be showing a vaginal childbirth on Chatelaine magazine. Because it’s a natural thing, mother’s will believe that this intimate moment is necessary to expose our children to without permission.
Give me a break. I don’t care if you are OK with your child seeing you breastfeed, but I’m not OK with mine seeing it and neither are my children.
About the Booby Lady on the Time Magazine Article
Again to each their own. My daughter still chides me for wrapping a bra around her at 12 to see if the size was right. I can’t say I blame her as this was a stupid mother move on my part. Talk about humiliating for my daughter!
I think she’s going to pay a heavy price with her son ten years down the road. I know when I tell embarrassing childhood stories, about my kids, they get angry.
I simply cannot imagine the wrath that this kid will have for exposing this private moment between mother and son on Time Magazine. I know my son would not want to be known as the 4-year-old kid who hung off his mother’s tit on Time Magazine.
That’s all I have to say about that. Shame on her, but to each their own.