Half the time I decide to write but I have no idea where I’m going to go with it. This second round of COVID lockdown is enough to send anyone bat shit crazy. I feel for the small businesses, people who are laid off, and really anyone who is spending this time in “house arrest” alone.

I, however, have been spending a lot of time alone and I’m loving it. I won’t be a hypocrite, I’d much rather spend it with someone to cuddle with, but it’s not the time. This year, I had a lot of work to do on myself and there are many days where I shock myself.

The other day, I was going to write a letter. A final letter since I went no contact. As I was writing, I asked myself…..”How is this serving your greater good?” It isn’t. It’s over. It’s done. You don’t know that person and you probably didn’t for many years. What’s the point? Control? Let that control go Trina. You’ve seen what it does to people. It makes people stuck and unhappy.

It won’t make you happy. GROWTH. LETTING GO. MOVING ON. PROUD.

Like Kenny says, Happy is what happy does and I can authentically say I’m happy. Sure I have my days….but don’t we all?

Christmas Blessings

Well, I wasn’t bat shit crazy this year saying whatever came to my mind. I was actually REALLY happy and appreciative for the people around me. But….I made drinks and had tons of food for all.

I didn’t care who called or who was here. I was just appreciative of those who chose to be here. Life is all about choice and that includes the people who choose to be with you at any given time.

Introducing the Grinch!

The Grinch Cocktail Hpnotiq

The Grinch Cocktail with HPNOTIQ

1/4 oz of Lime Juice
1/2 oz of Orange Juice
1 oz of Vodka
2 oz of HPNOTIQ

Give it a shake in your shaker and serve with a sugar rim and a wedge of lime as garnish.

I didn’t drink it but my brother and daughter loved them. Give it a try!

Lonely without School

My second semester came to a close on December 18th. If you want to see my portfolio, you can access it here. I’m very proud of it and the comments of my growth. My final GPA was 4.02. That’s four A+’s.

I notice that my need to control has shifted from men and my kids to school. Why? Because I realize it’s the only thing I can control. EDUCATE. DO IT. And REPEAT. The only thing I can’t control is my camera breaking and that would suck **knock on wood**.

I went to Niagara today and I took that photo in the header. It’s a learning process for long exposure shots. I’m happy with it, but it could be better. Just like life. It can always be better but we have to celebrate what’s happening now. Right now is just fine (aside from going stir crazy with the lockdown.)

I’m Too Much and I Love it!

I wrote this post on Facebook and Instagram. While I’d love to post my Instagram, I’ve changed my stupid password so many times, I don’t remember it. Life was easier married even with passwords. I had them for a gazillion years then BAM. Gotta change em and then I forget them.

Anyway, the post is what it is and the author, Regena Thomashauer, of the best seller “Pussy” also commented on my personal page.

So really all I have to add to this post is please don’t coax my daughter that I’m too much. I was actually really proud when she told me that. It didn’t hurt my feelings, but it sure made me think about why I was proud of it.

I want her to be “too much” so she is not cheated on and destroyed. I want her to be “too much” so she doesn’t go bat shit crazy like I did because I served everyone, but myself. I want her to be too much so she loves herself and won’t end up in a dead end relationship or with a married man. I don’t want her to ever chase. I want her to be so much that a man will always run towards her and not away.

I want her to take photos, listen to the best music, travel, experience new things, love herself, protect and stand up for women, and just love every ounce that life has to give her. By saying that I’m “Too much” to her was rude and only showed that you protected the “not too much” who caused our family’s demise. I fucking love being too much now! It makes waking up so good! I also love her for her spirit and her ability to be “too much” too! Society has tamed her, and I have in the past, which I so regret. Today, I hope she lives life to fullest and accept nothing less than what you want and deserve So please “not too much”, just shut up.

And as Forest Gump would say “That’s all I have to say about that.”

Light and Love,



My header makes me laugh cause that’s what they are after forty. I’ve met my share and realistically, I’m so good single. I’m spending New Year’s Eve with friends in my bubble, including drinking buddies. Here’s what I’ve learned about dudes and what I want for 2021.

Boys by Dean Brody is so real. Hits so many men bang on. They waffle. They run. I’ve just can’t find a song that says “I picked my job and a strange city over my family.” I’m sure it’s out there but…..right now it’s Boys.

I know I have lots of therapy needed before “the one” comes…..and maybe, just maybe, “the one” is me. I’m OK with it. I’m so at peace now with either, or.

A New Year

I am making my list of goals for 2021. I’m not going to share as, right now, they are brewing in my head. Thus far my list consists of “Dry brush your face every morning.” 2021 resolutions will consist of being easy on myself, not saying “I should”, getting my diploma in Photography, and living my best life.

No matter what, COVID rules, but we can rule ourselves while it’s happening. I hope that a vaccine comes out. I’m not 100% for it, but I will do it to get back to normal. I will do it so our kids can play in playgrounds again and we can go out and dance and enjoy each other’s company.

God bless all of us. May your 2021 be “too much” for the “not too much” folk out there. Show them that you’re worth so much more than what they expect out of you.

Be You! Live your best life. Let your love flow and give you the blessings that you so deserve!!

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