Interesting quote I saw today.
Never forget three types of people in your life. Those who helped you in your difficult times. Those who left you in your difficult times. Those who put you in your difficult times. This may be a long one as it’s such a powerful statement.
Those Who Helped You in Your Difficult Times
I have to say that I have two of the most amazing friends in the World. Both have helped me immensely emotionally and physically since 2018. They’ve done some crazy shit to make me smile, put up with my sadness and drinking, and helped me through my grief and renovation of my parent’s place. Tracy and Julie, I can’t thank you enough.
There are also the men in my life. John and Mike. John is a great friend. He’s the friend, who became a tad more once upon a time, who I can maintain a best friendship with. The reason being is that he respects me and I feel absolutely safe with him. We know that we aren’t suited for one another, but at a time, we felt that there was possibility. The respect between him and I has created a magical friendship where we can talk about anything, give advice, and love each other deeply. He even has Thursday off this week and asked if he could help me more. That’s a true friend. Mike, is Julie’s husband. For a guy who was best friends with my ex-husband, he handled it amazingly. He also helped me a lot with my moves and this current real estate transaction.
Those Who Left You in Difficult Times.
Well, that’s easy. My ex-husband, my former partner, and my brother.
Those Who Put You in Difficult Times
This one hit me hard. It was me who put me in difficult times. I’m not a victim, but I’m very gullible. Although my ex-husband did some crazy ass shit where we went down a rabbit hole of crap, my demise and fighting for my self worth was up to me. I didn’t handle it very well and I put myself in even worse times. He’s to blame for the truly awful things that he did to me, our relationship and to himself. However, he’s not to blame for the very difficult time I put myself in. I am.
Afterwards, I jumped into a relationship where this person and his wife were doing the bed boogie four years after separation. I didn’t know about that until I was four months in. On top of it, he told me he couldn’t speak to me anymore cause they were going to try again for the 499th time. However, he managed to write me and send signals via Spotify the whole time. It didn’t work with them (surprise, surprise), so he called me. AND I WENT BACK! Then, there was another incident where seeing her vagina and tits on his phone repulsed me. This was almost year after we got together. AND I STAYED. Then, she was texting him. AND I STAYED (but I told the idiot go live her own life and that caused even more havoc. That said, he was mostly in the wrong for not saying it sooner.) Then, there was the Cavendish Beach disaster and finally, there was all this crap while I was mourning my parent’s and ex-husband’s death. That was the boiling point of testing to see if he had a heart for me or not. I quit drinking, told him he had to cut back or quit as I wouldn’t tolerate that behaviour. I was half in and half out, buy again, I should have said goodbye. At the end, he claims he tried, but I honestly feel that he checked out long ago. He’s not to blame for my difficult time with him. He was acting the way he was taught how to treat a woman. I always told him he was a big kid, and now I understand why he was. I don’t know why I didn’t pick up until now.
We had this video channel called ‘Notes on a Fridge’. The name came from all the notes he had on his fridge from his ex-wife on how to act and behave. I always thought it was bizarre and controlling. She had no idea how a man should act. To me, she wanted a puppet, and he was a good one from what I could tell. I wish I was more in tune with what was happening. I should have said “if you want me, please go to therapy and heal yourself from the abuse you experienced. Stop Drinking. I’m out of here until then.” It was the words I said to my ex. I feel stupid now that I didn’t do the same.
It’s unreal how much this ex-wife subliminally threw wrenches into our relationship. She was very good at manipulation. However, I am at fault for allowing it to become another difficult time in my life. I should have left a long time ago.
I never valued my worth the whole time I was with him or with my ex-husband. I really didn’t love myself.
That said, I’ve learned and grown from it. My difficult times in life was essentially my fault. Since my breakup with this ex-partner, I’ve started taking more notice of healthy people. Healthy people don’t do those things. They don’t have hidden personalities. Once the bond breaks with a spouse, they may try once or twice, but not continuously. That’s insane. However, they would give their new partner the same amount of love and adoration, as they gave any of the people they loved in the past. It wasn’t in the cards.
Our World is so fucked up and we tend to join right into the fuckery by not respecting ourselves. With my very few experiences in fifty-one years, I’ve learned what Love Ain’t.
My daughter said today two things that made me come to this realization.
- “Dad used to say that you and him would get back together.” I explained to her that if he came back and begged for my help to get rehabilitated, I would have dropped everything. However, I wouldn’t have gotten back together with him at all while he was healing himself. I don’t know if I could ever have to be honest, but I would have helped him because to this day, I knew him best in spite of the double life.
- “XXXXX had Tinder the whole time you were together. The whole time he was with his wife. Mom, he was doing you wrong for a long time. That’s not someone who respects you.
So cheers to those who hurt me, disrespected me and casted me aside. You weren’t worth it and you don’t deserve a minute of my love, adoration or respect. For the past month or so, I’ve been alone. I haven’t once been desperate to beg or plead for love or adoration from an ex. What’s done is done. It’s over.
Please go on with your life and I shall go on with mine. Stop checking up on me everyday and sending random emails telling me you’ve moved on. I get it, why are you writing to tell me that all the time? You’re just going to see me thriving and surviving, so you may as well move on. I have stopped checking on you long ago. I love me more!
Also, I’m sorry that we lasted so long because I didn’t respect myself. I’m sorry I wasted so much of our time. I’m only getting more self love each and every day and this is the blessing of all the difficult times.