Well this weekend was bittersweet. Yesterday would have been my parent’s 62nd wedding anniversary, and, it was also the fifth year anniversary that my ex-husband and I separated. I asked in a previous post, if he’d help me find peace. Well five years to the day of separation, this miserable chapter is conditionally over. We have a conditional deal closing in May. I couldn’t be happier.
I was told by a numerologist that my ex and I had a soul contract. I don’t think it’s over yet. Or….maybe it is. When the stars align, it gives me hope. Goodness, I pray for some good things to finally come to fruition.
Where Do I Go From Here
While it would have been wonderful to have never separated in the first place or have the partner who wanted to live the rest of our life together, to share this excitement with, I am alone. We could take taken this money and made a nice little forever life that suited the two of us.
I’m not really loving the small red flags I’m seeing with this new guy. I ended it today, and I feel relief. My next steps will be cautious in every aspect of my life. I need more than any of these individuals could ever give me. I want the love story; The healthy one. The one we all deserve in life.
Realignment commences again. Please stars….align for the greater good this time. No more pitfalls, heartaches, loss or death. I don’t think my mental health, and that of my family, could take anymore.
My daughter, who also applied for an apartment facing the CN Tower yesterday, and I chatted this morning about my next steps. She feels that I should move on from this location, my job and start a new. Burlington. OMG, the rentals in Burlington are ridiculous, so it’s a hard no.
Waterloo, Kitchener or Cambridge
This would be my spot to go to should I want a secure group of friends and location to do my job better. I get extremely traumatized when I go there. Con: It has never felt like home since I returned to Cambridge. Hmm, five years ago on this day.
Ottawa/Gatineau
As much as Ottawa hated me the first time, I feel kinetically challenged to challenge this town once again. However, I’d love to live in Gatineau with all its beauty and nature. Con: Issue is that most jobs are bi-lingual and I’d have to do a lot of brushing up.
Stratford
I love Stratford’s charm and it’s artsy atmosphere. I think I could fit in well and be close to my kids. I can see myself taking in the theatre and possibly trying to work with them. Con: Too close to the ex, so hard no. He’d think I’m stalking him when I really haven’t since he gave me the heave ho for someone else.
West Side Montreal
I am going to pre-empt that I hate Montreal. However, many marketing companies and magazines are based there. I could see myself living on the west end for my career and the water. Con: It’s probably last on my list. I do not like Montreal.
Burlington
When I went to Burlington last weekend, I had a sense of OMG, I could live here. It felt safe and I felt a glimpse of happy. Con; The rent is ridiculously expensive for a single girl.
Well, this is an exciting time for little old me. Time to really focus on what I need to do going forward. I’m scared, nervous, and excited. Also, I’m free to me finally with no chains around my ankles. This five year of misery is finally over (in May, but hopefully sooner.). Let challenge “New Trina, New Life” begin.
Thank you to those, who are no longer with me, that had my back this weekend.
Karmic Dates to note for my book
Throughout our life together, dates within the family seemed to intertwine. Makes the story of us so powerful together or apart.
Toby’s Dad Died – March 13th (Mom’s Birthday)
My Aunt died coming to see Christina on April 29th – Toby’s Dad’s Birthday
Toby’s Grandmother died May 11 – My Grandmother’s birthday
Both of our children were born on Holy Days. Easter Sunday and All Saint’s Day
Brandon meets Gabby – Her birthday is April 29th – So is Toby’s Dad and nephew
We broke up February 17, 2018 and never looked back – My Parent’s wedding anniversary
Toby died May 14 – Our wedding anniversary
House conditional offer February 17, 2024 – 5th year separation anniversary and Mom and Dad’s Anniversary.
House sale signed – February 18th, 2024. Five years that I arrived in Cambridge alone
Conditional condition closed date April 17th – Christina’s Birthday
